Despite all my rage, I am still just a bat in a cage

This week: mines vs nurseries; national localization; up from the top; and all the names.

Like a @#**$@*# canary in a @##@#** coal mine

Upset about a bonus program he believed incentivized workers to under-report safety issues, a West Virginia union mineworker and long-time safety activist chose to void his $11 bonus check with a message to the CEO: “Kiss My Ass, Bob”. He was fired for it.

But he just won temporary reinstatement, after arguing that his message amounted to a protest over the safety impact of the disputed program, and that you don’t need to be polite to lodge a safety protest in a coal mine FFS. The judge agreed, explaining: “This is a mine, not a nursery.”

The judge apparently hasn’t read Go the fuck to sleep.

The cutest little McNeighborhood restaurant

McDonald’s is launching an initiative to “localize” its menus… an initiative that is coming straight out of the company’s Oak Brook, Illinois global corporate headquarters. That’s because for a highly standardized multi-billion-dollar enterprise like McDonald’s, just about every meaningful decision is made at the corporate level — even decisions that bacon and white cheddar McMuffins are “relevant” to Chicago specifically, while cranberry-orange muffins are “relevant” to the Midwest generally.

Worked their way up from younger sibling to top executive

long piece profiling the state of the Subway sandwich empire includes a curious pair of descriptions of Suzanne Greco, the newly-appointed President of the chain and likely heir apparent to run the whole show. At one point she’s identified as the younger sister of the owner. Later on, when her career at the company is described, it’s said that she “began as a sandwich artist”.

Apparently if you’re born into the right family, you can inherit quite the set of bootstraps to pull yourself up by.

Where did they come up with that name?

A baby shark fell from the sky onto a concrete path in a Virginia family’s backyard, “a little bloody on the side.” The family named it Sharky and put it in their freezer to show to houseguests.

A 3-year-old Sulawesi macaque named Zimm escaped her cage in the Memphis Zoo, forcing keepers to restrict visitors to a gift shop holding area during the search. The humans were later allowed to go freely, but the monkey will be re-confined.

And a rabid bat bit a child at Liberty Lake Park in Spokane County, and was then captured at a nearby picnic table. Seven-year-old victim Jaleigh reports that prior to the incident, she’s “actually liked bats if they're in a cage.”