Someone's making out like a bandit

This week: fighting franchises; losing limbs; winning wages; and rising raccoons.

You have to wonder how much longer Grimace can take this

On Tuesday, the International Franchise Association brought notorious ultra-right-wing litigator Paul Clement to Seattle — to argue in Federal Court that the city’s minimum wage law is unfair to McDonald’s. How unsympathetic is this argument? It’s so bad that even ALEC went out of its way to distance itself from the case, apparently worried about the hit to their public image.

Too bad for the lot of them that details of an ALEC/IFA anti-minimum wage strategy session were leaked to the Guardian, including an emphasis on the importance of “putting the right face” on the business case against raising wages. The Seattle Times Editorial Board did their job and followed this advice to a tee.

This is a serious issue, but for a big toe, that doesn’t sound all that bad.

If you lose an arm in a workplace accident, your compensation could range from $45,000 to $740,000, an NPR/ProPublica investigation finds. It doesn’t depend on the circumstances or the size of the employer or whether somebody says it was your fault. It depends on what state you happen to live in when it happens.

So losing a big toe at work only gets you $6,090 in California, but $90,401.88 in Oregon, a state not as famous for soccer as that might make you think. Because despite the fact that workers comp has been a thing SINCE HAMMURABI (#srsly), each state sets its own rules and there are no Federal minimums. And employer lobby groups are free to pit states like Washington against each other over how stingy they can be towards injured workers.

TheY should sell 15-oz bottles

Workers in the City of Olympia launched a campaign for a $15 minimum wage in that city with a banner riffing off Olympia beer — and if the campaign wins the support of elected officials as quickly as it won the affections of nostalgic local beer drinkers, it might be time to figure out a way to get PBR onboard with the national fight for $15.

If anyone is concerned, they should read the advice column the Tacoma News Tribune published for business owners there about the new paid sick days law in that city. It includes some nonsense, some good information, and the perfect combination of the two: Dave Meinert, a self-important Seattle bar owner and leading concern troll on labor standards, urges his fellows: “Don’t make grandiose statements.”

Who were those masked men?

A San Francisco carpenter freed a troublesome baby raccoon slated for euthanasia — and lost his job over it.

Two days later, a 75-year-old woman in Virginia strangled a rabid raccoon that attacked her at a botanical garden. It’s believed the incidents are unrelated.

And Utah passed a new law putting white-collar criminals on a registry. But the convicted mortgage fraudsters and insider traders aren’t yet required to wear domino masks of their own.