April 1, 2024:
The Seattle Council has been considering a rollback of gig workers’ rights to a minimum wage, but that all changed when they signed up to be Dashers.
After dealing with the hazards that come with being a delivery driver, and seeing how much less than “$26.40/hour” their pay shakes out to be, this council of Dashers vows to protect Seattle gig workers’ hard-earned labor protections.
Even Council President Sara Nelson saw the light when she got deactivated after being unable to complete an impossible order: “I was tasked with getting from Capitol Hill to deliver in Renton within 8 minutes at 5pm. For $2! I find that unreasonable. I believe the app corporations created a problem, and it’s our responsibility to fix it.”
The council has now suspended all future meetings with greedy DoorDash lobbyists seeking to revert Seattle gig workers to making less than half the city’s minimum wage with a simple note on council letterhead: “Nevermind, Seattle. Implementing minimum wage for low-wage workers is good governance."
As reported by Ivana Livingwage
#AprilFools